“Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.” Psalm 143:8 KJV
This November I will be 27, (almost 30 yikes!) and looking back on my life I am so thankful for what God has done in my life in such a short time frame. Sometimes I sit and think about the life I had planned out for myself, marriage by 23, at least my first child by 25, a few businesses under my belt, living in a nice suburban area. Oh, and did I mention my credit score was supposed to be in the high 700’s (lol). As you can see I had my whole life figured out, but if you notice not once did I mention anything about God, ministry, church, spiritual growth or anything along that nature. That’s because I was creating a life outside of God (well minus the credit score, I still want that high 700). It’s funny because I tried to make all the things I desired happen on my time, how I wanted it, and with whom I wanted it with. Obviously God had other plans.
“There are many devices in a man’s heart; nevertheless the counsel of the Lord, that shall stand.” Proverbs 29:19 KJV
I now realize that most of the plans I created were NOT a part of God’s plan, some business ideas I tried taking on, were not God approved which is why it didn’t work out. Men I was involved with, were not God approved. Basically I was outside of the Will of God and that created so much pain and setbacks.
As I began to allow God to minister to me and change my life for the better, I started desiring more of what God wanted. I understood that if I wanted to be happy and succeed in life, I must have God approve every plan and idea. Sadly, the gifts, talents, and desires that I had were being used for the world and selfish gain, and God knew my heart behind them.
“Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.” James 4:3 KJV
God had a lot of purging to do, and a lot of transformation had to take place to get me here; a place of surrender, no control, and genuinely wanting His will to be done in my life. I don’t have it all together, it is a daily dying to flesh and choosing whom I will serve. I realized that back then when I was planning my life, I was planning a life for earthly pleasure, self-glorification, lustful motives.
God knew I wasn’t ready for marriage at the age of 23 because my heart was dirty and full of filth. I was not the Christian woman I am today. I was still seeking a man to fill a void only God can. Then I didn’t understand submission, I just wanted to say I had man. He knew the main motive behind my marriage desire was freedom of sex (Sorry but I am being honest). Now, my perspective on marriage has changed drastically. I now realize that marriage first starts with Christ, He is my ultimate husband. My main focus should be being a perfect bride for Him. I see marriage as a ministry. I see marriage as a way to serve and submit to a godly man who submits to God and loves me like Christ loves the church. It’s not about sex, though that is included to pleasure and creating children, it is about glorifying God with a union that seeks to work together for God’s Kingdom.
The business ideas I had, they were only about money. There was no real passion behind them. God knew my heart, so He made sure the doors of opportunity wouldn’t come my way. Now, the ideas that I have, were laid on my heart by God Himself. How do I know? I know because there is peace accompanying the ideas. There are multiple resources to accomplish the tasks, and people have come to me about them. What was just a hobby, and playing around with time, has now become a desire to put effort into. The passions I had, writing, singing, mainly writing, was being used for the world, and I actually had blogs before this one, but I closed them because God led me to. I traded in my passion for glorifying the world, to glorifying God with my gifts. Was it hard to do it, honestly in the beginning it was, but I knew what had to be done in order to live the life God created for me.
You’re probably wondering why am I sharing this with you today, well It is because I know there are a lot of you who are in the shoes I once was in. Planning your life away without really consulting God first. Maybe you’re hastily making decisions because you’re creeping up in age and feel that nothing has went as planned. I want to encourage you to examine your plans and ask yourself, are your plans God approved. Sounds cliché but I promise you, it will save you a lot of time, setback, headaches, and heartaches, if you seek God’s Will instead of your own.
So now I am 26, and the one thing I can proudly say I have accomplished is giving my life totally to Jesus. I may not have what I thought I would at this age, but I have faith and I have works. I believe that as I am seeking God’s Kingdom, all that I needed will be added to my life. I rest on God’s promises,and patiently waiting on Him to open the right doors. I am allowing God to develop me into the woman He has created me to be. I am allowing God to remove everything that is not like Him out of my life. I am allowing God to continue preparing me for not only marriage here on earth, but for my ultimate Husband, Jesus Christ for His return. I’m working on ideas that have been inspired by God and getting more into ministry. On top of it all, I am just working on being a better me than I was yesterday.
See it’s all process to prepare me for the next season, and then that season will prepare me for the next. We won’t ever be where we want to be until we are with Jesus Christ. So your time is not running out, it’s okay to slow down. Life is not over because you’re not married yet. You’re not a failure because your ideas didn’t work out. Maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t a part of God’s plan for your life. Maybe He wants to stir you into a new direction, or maybe the timing was just off. Either way, trust God and submit your plans to Him because He knows what’s best.
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” Jeremiah 29:11 KJV