Cast your cares upon the Lord, for He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7
Did you know that He even cares about your personal life, your desires, you know the desires you have for marriage, babies, and a family? There is nothing too small for God to care about that concerns you. Remember The Lord will perfect all that concerns you, even your love life (Psalms 138:8).
But, will you trust Him?
Will you be patient as He brings the man who you desire into your life?
Or will you throw in the towel and go looking for your “Adam”, and end up finding and falling for an “Ishmael” when God had your “Isaac” on the way. Then, regret it when you are married to that man because he doesn’t fit you, he can’t lead you properly, or he pulls you away from God?
A beautiful love story takes time and it will not be perfect but if you keep God as your foundation, He will take care of the areas that are imperfect. God has all things under control. Though we don’t understand why things take so long, it will all be worth the wait in the end.
I truly thank God for delivering me from the impatient syndrome, and wanting so badly to be in love and married. I realized that God makes no mistakes. He is not the author of confusion and He is not a man that He should lie. I know what He has promised me, and He knows what He has promised me. Now I may have made mistakes along the way, but God kept me and didn’t allow me to fall too far away. I might not have passed all the tests that I should have, and I’ve tried numerous times to outrun my process and failed EVERY SINGLE TIME, still His mercy and His grace covered me.
Now today, I can’t express how important it is to WAIT ON THE LORD. Trust me, your strength will be renewed. I am living witness. I am still here and even more determined to wait on Him. During a season of stripping things from me and opening my eyes to what was still in my heart and how unready I was for marriage when at times I thought I was, it gave me no choice but to submit to His Will.
Since then I have learned what it truly means to wait on God and to be content as I trust God to bring His promises to past according to His perfect Will.
I know there are many women who desire marriage, and I want to share what I have learned along that is beneficial to a waiting season. While you are waiting there are few things you can occupy yourself with to keep you focused on God instead of the time.
- Seek the face of The Lord.
Start setting side time to speak to God and pour your heart out to Him. The man you really need to be desiring it Jesus.
“For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.” Isaiah 54:5
Jesus is going to be our ultimate husband, so it doesn’t hurt to get to know Him more. If you are not filled with Jesus, you will be empty and then try to fill voids with men. This is how counterfeits and lust distract you. Seeking The Lord in this time will help you to become in tuned with Him and if you have not received the baptism of the Holy Spirit yet, well this is the perfect time. Trust me, you will need all the Jesus you can get while single so that when a man comes into your life, you won’t be deceived if he is not for you, and you won’t run him away, if he is. Seek God to find out why you were created, because you were created for more than just being a wife. Reading God’s Word and fasting is very essential in the life of a believer. God will even reveal things to you about yourself and even about your purpose. Which leads me to number two.
- Get busy doing work for the Kingdom.
This is so important! Yes, marriage is considered a ministry, but you haven’t been elevated to that assignment yet. This is where a lot of women shy away from because a lot forget that we too, as women, have a purpose and a position in God’ Kingdom. So in seeking the Lord, He can reveal to you what He wants you to do. Get busy in church, but be led by God.Don’t just join every ministry because you have so much time. Quality is more important than quantity. Maybe God has been tugging at you to start something for His kingdom, like a small study group. Or maybe He wants you to step out and get busy by spreading His gospel to your coworkers, family, friends, strangers, to people of this world. Maybe He wants you to share your testimony. I mean you would never know unless you spend time with Him. Being busy for God will position you to be in His Will and you never know, God may have someone waiting for you to be obedient to where He is trying to take you.If you don’t have church home yet, this is the time to find one, so you can start growing spiritually.
- Prepare yourself.
I know you have a list of what you want in a husband, we all have a list (lol). However, just as you are looking for certain qualities and traits out of someone, make sure you possess the same or at least qualities of a good wife. It is kind of silly and childish to want so much out of someone but not willing to be the same. I know when I look at my little list (lol), I make sure that I am bringing just as much to the table. If you want a man who works, are you working? If you want a saved man of God that loves the Lord, make sure you love The Lord too. You want a man who is faithful, make sure you are faithful as well, to The Lord. You want a man who will lead, make sure you’re ready to practice submission.
Let me state that getting yourself prepared doesn’t mean you should focus your entire waiting time on being prepared for marriage. You need to make sure you are prepared individually to take care of yourself. Learn something new, learn how to cook, fill your mind with things that are educational and beneficial to take along with you in this life. Don’t just sit and let life pass you by waiting for an event to happen first.
- Keep in mind that the man God brings you will not be perfect.
He will not come perfect in a pretty box and as everything on your “list” when you first meet/get to know him. Don’t expect God to drop a fine-looking man of God, that’s a prince charming, romantic, every Tuesday flower sending, attends to your every need, always puts you first, knows all the right things to say, super-duper sweet, posts pictures of you, show you off on social media, makes you his WCW every Wednesday, buys you everything; basically a straight out of a notebook movie fairy tale guy.
I am sorry to burst your little bubble, but we live in a world with imperfect people who make mistakes and don’t always get it right. Now, if God sends you someone like that, that is all around perfect, well… fast from them, QUICKLY and really make sure he is sent from God because that sounds a little too good to be true and normally when it’s too good to be true, it’s not true (lol).
God is really dealing with me in this area, because I just wanted a fairy tale man but I realized that just like I’m not perfect, he won’t be either. It helps me to be less selfish and more loving, but I still have my deal breakers as any woman should, well person in general should. Make sure your basic standards are met, a preview of mines: Saved, sanctified, and filled with the Holy Ghost, prays in tongues (doesn’t have to all the time but I need personal evidence to know He has the Holy Ghost besides the fruit of the Spirit; I’ve dealt with too many counterfeits), beliefs on doctrines are the same, study his bible, did I mention prays!, respectful, communicates effectively, purpose oriented (which means he’ll have a job lol), and his attractiveness meets my eyes, then everything else can be workable through communication and prayer.
Also I want to throw in, don’t think you must have daily communication with someone you just met, we are grown and have lives. People work and I’m learning that the whole puppy love, texting/calling every second and every day is high school and causes pre-mature love/lust to develop. If you two are talking all day every day, what are you doing with your lives? What are you doing for God? There should be space and boundaries. You should take things slow and let the Lord lead the relationship since He should be the foundation. This section is long because God convicted me about this topic and I get it now (lol).
- Understand the true meaning of waiting on The Lord.
I truly believe a lot of us have the concept of waiting on The Lord misconstrued. Waiting on God does not mean to sit back and allow life to pass by until an event or something happens. It doesn’t mean to stay in your comfort zone until God calls you out. Waiting on The Lord means to step out on faith and trust that God will do what He said He will do. Isaiah 40:31 says that they who wait on the Lord, shall renew their strength. As you wait, your strength is being renewed. You will be strengthened in your weak areas, you will be prepared for what’s to come, you won’t be weak and lonely waiting for a man because as you are waiting on God you are being renewed. Soon you won’t even notice “how long” God is taking because you will be more focused on kingdom things, with a new mindset. You will then look up and see that God has been working on your love life this entire time and you will go into a relationship as a better person with the right person.
I pray these inspire you to want more of Jesus before wanting a man. These five things and more have helped me to keep my mind on Jesus and not on my cares and desires. One day you will look up and thank God for shutting the doors to the wrong men, for the right man to find you. Trust God and don’t forget to keep Him first. It would be a shame to spend all your life waiting to be married and you look up and Jesus comes back before that event and you weren’t ready for HIM. At the end of it all, give your heart to Jesus and He’ll place it in the hands of a man who has been waiting on someone as special as you. Lastly, enjoy your singleness because once you’re married, you can’t get it back (lol)!
Love you and God loves you more!!