Hello Beautiful Souls,
2015 is literally a day away and I could not be more excited for what is to come. This is the first time I will be going into a new year with peace. I can literally say this will be my best year yet. I have grown, and matured in Christ so much. I am really proud for staying on track these last couple of months of the year because boy oh boy did I have a crazy year. You can even ask my mom and she will tell you how many times I have said, “2015 will be interesting, I am genuinely happy and ready for the New Year“. See, every time a New Year was coming up, I would immediately think of all the things I had not accomplished in that current year and be so anxious to speed things up before the New Year arrived just to say I did what I said I was going to do. I would feel like a failure for not being advanced in life, like I thought I would be. I can admit it now that the reason I would feel that way is because I was living for the world. I was on the world’s time and doing what the world told me I should be doing. The things I was involved in, the people I wanted to take with me, they were not consistent and honestly I did not feel at peace with anything from the beginning with what I was doing. It was not until the early summer of this year (2014) that God started showing me what I needed to do; change.
I needed to completely live for Him in order to not continue in the same story year after year. So that is what I did. I quit playing around and I began seeking God. I started reading my bible and not just quoting scriptures that were popular. I started digging into the books in the bible, and study them. I started looking for other growing Christians online and started bible plans with them. I started looking into worship and gospel music more and slowly stopped listening to the radio and worldly music. Listen, I have even completely given up BEYONCE, yes I said it. I was her number one fan, but she has not been promoting anything positive for my spirit especially with her last album, so I had to let her go as well. (Sorry Bey). I have come to a place where I will not allow anything or anyone to get in my way of receiving all of JESUS. I want JESUS now more than ever. I desire to hear from Him, grow closer to Him. My life is all about JESUS. Living for Him for real this time has been a life changer and the BEST DECISION of my life! There is no way I can turn back; my whole being is becoming this new person. The music I listen to has changed, the type of husband and friends I want has changed, my peace, contentment, self-worth awareness, humility, and patience with God’s timing has increased. My fear, control issues, loneliness, anxiety, has decreased. I now rest on God’s understanding and His will for my life. I want what He wants. I desire personal instructions from Him to obey. I even joined a church and will be getting BAPTIZED for the first time on New Year’s Eve! It’s like everything is changing so fast yet slowly and the things I use to stress, desire, or worry about, I do not anymore. It is all because I am living for God.
I trust God. I know He has a plan for me. Jeremiah 29:11 has been my anthem for these past couple months, and it is nothing but the truth. However, it was not always this way. Like I stated before I have lived for the world.
I was a rebellious girl. I was afraid of the unknown and thought I had to figure out EVERYTHING on my own. I played with sin, I knew it was wrong, yet I did things anyways. I did not truly know my self-worth. I allowed guys to play me AND with me, like I was a worthless toy and not the daughter of a KING. Some guys would be church going guys, but I was blinded by my lust and wanted to engage and give my body away before getting to truly know the hearts of these guys. Then after being left with a broken heart, a piece of myself missing, and an ungodly soul tie, my crazy behind would go right into another situation but this time with “reinforced rules/standard” that would eventually be looked over for a cute face and empty words. I would always say, I am not going to do anything this time, but it would never end that way. Then I thought well if this guy is no good like the others then I’ll already know what to do to get back up, so I’ll take a risk. I will do a whole new post for sex, soul ties, and relationships another day because I definitely have a lot to say. As you can see I was a mess and stuck in this world’s way of living.
I would pretend that I was fine on the outside with my life, like I had it all together but inside I was dying. I was not truly seeking God. I was filled with pride and thought God would have to find me and change me. The only way to want change is to take steps into getting that change. God knew me and loved me, but He knew I was double minded, I was compromising, bargaining and praying for Him to bless my dysfunctional life. I had to be reborn AGAIN and become a whole new person. There were so many things attached to me that I had no choice but to become new. There was depression, oppression, stress, suicidal thoughts and even attempts, childhood sexual abuse and molestation, addiction (to sex, pornography, over thinking, lust, gossip, worldly music, material things), soul ties, procrastination, laziness, fear, comfort zones, loneliness, social anxiety, unforgiving spirit, guilt, pain, the past, jealousy, confusion, doubts, low self-worth, insecurity, rebellion, regrets, I can keep going. There was a lot stuck on me that I could not let go of. I felt like if I did, then I would not be me. Truth is I did not even know me. My true identity was hidden deep inside Christ
“For you died, and your life is hidden in Christ with God.” Colossians 3:3 NKJV
I was a product of this world still sleep and knowing the truth. I had to seek who I was and find my true purpose. I was not created to live in a mess, I was created to be a message. However, I did not truly understand how that could be possible until I gave my life to Christ intentionally. I did not know that letting go of everything meant I could live. There was a beautiful new life just waiting for me all along, but I was not able to let go. By giving all of my attachments to God, and surrendering it all to God, and allowing Him to make me new, and birth in me His desires and His dreams for my life, I am able to be at peace and happy. I know that life will not be perfect and there will be issues here and there, but now I believe that God is and has always been on my side. He has taken what the devil meant for my harm, and turned it around for my good. There is no turning back. The devil is a liar, and I will always promote and share the love Jesus with people forever in my days on this earth. He has done great things for me, so I will bless The Lord.
In my darkest hour and at my highest point, God will forever get the glory and the praise. He will be the reason for my success and my accomplishments. I do everything for God. I am working for JESUS. He died on the cross for my sins, so I will give Him my body, I will give Him my heart, and I will give Him my praise. I trust that God will continue to restore what the devil stole from me. I wait patiently for what and who He has for me. This life is not my own, I gave it to Christ fully in 2014 and it has set me up for 2015 to be my best year yet. New beginnings and bigger opportunities, I declare and thank Him in advanced. I wait on The Lord in expectancy. I have lived for the world, and I have lived for God and it turns out that living for God is sooo much better! He has taken me out of the dark, woke me up, and gave me strength, wisdom, comfort, peace, and encouragement. I know that He is not finished with me yet, truth is He is just getting started. I pray that you, beautiful soul, will WAKE UP, and let Him into your heart. Completely surrender your life to Him, it is worth it. Confess with your mouth that He is YOUR Lord and Savior and Jesus died on the cross for YOUR sins. I am telling you God will do the impossible and blow your mind with healing, restoring, and bring new things into your life. Go into 2015 with thanksgiving, and prayer and a restored relationship with JESUS CHRIST. Hope you have a HAPPY NEW YEAR, I know I will. God bless.
A couple of updates:
- Soon and very soon (next year hopefully), we will be starting our weekly newsletters via email. If you haven’t already SIGN UP here and you will be added to our Newsletters List.
- I have created a YouTube Channel to bring my posts to life as well as having fashion talk/videos.
- Connect and follow me on Instagram/Twitter (@BrittanyLaVell), and facebook (facebook.com/brittanylavell), for frequent inspirational words.
- I am open to guest posts and/or collaborations on BABS. Email me if interested or for any questions at email@example.com.